Asking for What You Need

Do you have a problem with asking for what you want or need?  I do... and I know many others do too.

Some of the reasons I give for not asking for assistance or what I need hover around the notions I don't want to come across as not able to do it myself, or come across as needy or perhaps selfish. 

Asking for assistance or what you need is often given a bad rap... logically we all know unless we ask for what we want chances are we won't get it. 

Yesterday I received an article about Asking from Jack Canfield :

Good Things Come to Those Who Ask
by Jack Canfield

Asking for what you need is probably the most underutilized tool for people. And yet, amazing requests have been granted to people simply because they've asked for it!

Whether its money, information, support, assistance, or time, most people are afraid to ask for what they need in order to make their dreams come true.

They might be afraid of looking needy, ignorant, helpless, or even greedy. More than likely, though, it is the fear of rejection that is holding them back. Even though they are afraid to hear the word no, they're already saying it to themselves by not asking!

Do you ask for what you want or are you afraid of rejection?

Consider this: Rejection is just a concept. There is really no such thing as rejection! You're not any worse off by hearing no than you were before you asked. You didn't have what you asked for before you asked and you still don't, so what did you lose?

Being rejected doesn't hold you back from anything. Only YOU hold yourself back. If you are told no, ask for what you'd have to do to get it, or ask again at another time when the circumstances have changed. Ask if they know someone else who might say yes. When you realize that there's no merit to rejection, you'll feel more comfortable asking for things. But you may need a bit of help learning how to ask for what you want.

First, ask as though you expect to get it.

Be confident in your request coming from a perspective that there's no reason why you wouldn't get it. Or they say no, you can ask them why, or what you would need to do to get a yes. You might need to form a better business plan before you will get a loan. You might need to take a course in computers before you will get a promotion. You might need to spend more quality time with your family before you will get the loving support you need. By getting this feedback you are able to make adjustments and ask again with better chances of getting a yes.

Second, assume you can get what you want if you only ask for it.

You want a window seat? Assume all you have to do is ask for it. You want an ocean view? Cheaper tickets? A scholarship? A better deal? Just ask for it as if that's all you have to do to get it.

And finally, be specific about what you want or need.

Do you want to make $5,000 more a year? Then don't just ask for a raise. Ask for $5,000 more a year. Vague request produce vague results. Don't just ask for more time with your spouse; ask for a date on Friday night. Don't ask for help on a project, ask for what you want that person to take care of.

Getting a good perspective on rejection and learning how to ask will make a world of difference for you as you work toward your goals. Practice asking and you'll get very good at it! You'll even speed your progress by getting what you need, or improving yourself in order to get it later.

Make a list of what you need to ask for in all areas of your life, and then start asking!

© 2008 Jack Canfield, America's #1 Success Coach, is the founder and co-creator of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you're ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get your FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at: www.FreeSuccessStrategies.com

What has helped me feel more comfortable about asking for what I need is to ask my myself "how do I respond when someone asks for something from me?"... I'm happy to help, to give assistance, to do whatever I can to fulfil the request.  So... if I feel ok about others asking for my help or assistance... then there's the strong possibility almost everyone else does as well. 

Do you easily ask others for assistance?  Click on the comment link below and share your thoughts and experiences on asking for help or asking for what you need... it's always good to hear from you!

Warmly
Jeanne

PS have you ever wondered why some people can achieve goals and others can't?  Have you ever wondered what the Secrets are to achieving goals?  Would you like to know??  If so, check out my new e-course... "The Inside Secrets of How to Achieve Life Changing Goals... Revealed!" where you will discover what the secrets are and how to apply them to achieve your own Life Changing Goals!