Goals and Aspirations

Relationships, Love and Feeling Complete -- or not?

Relationships form an important part of our life... we have relationships with our parents, siblings, friends, family, people we hardly know, work colleagues. 

Love relationships are something most of us have experienced at some time in our life.  Some love relationships are truly fulfilling and long-lasting whereas others are not.

Often when we feel lack in our life, when we don't feel whole and complete, we look to forming attachments with others, especially to one person to help us fulfil that lack.

We may fall in love, and the "other" person may feel the same way about us.  We feel whole and complete.  We feel happy.

After a while of being together... it is possible the "other" person no longer makes us feel whole, complete and happy.  Their behaviour irritates us, they no longer say or do the things we feel we need to make us whole, and this "other" person no longer makes us feel happy. 

Our feelings of lack return... and the relationship crumbles. Problems emerge and they seem insurmountable.  And we are left alone -- perhaps not physically but certainly emotionally.  The relationship becomes empty and more often than not ends.

A major problem in relationships is when we look to the "other" to complete us, to make us feel whole and to make us feel happy.  This tends to create a one-sided relationship... it places a huge responsibility on the "other" person... a responsibility difficult, if not impossible, to live up to permanently.

We cannot depend on anyone to make us feel whole... to make us feel happy and complete.  We need to find that within ourselves.  We need to feel complete and whole and happy within ourselves. 

When people come together, not needing, or depending on and demanding the "other" to get rid of the lack they feel within them, to make them feel whole, complete and happy, the relationship is equal.  The bond between them can grow and flourish... and develop into something powerful and beautiful.  And the relationship will endure

Listen to this 10 minute video of Eckart Tolle's views on love and relationships...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iicGczvp5HQ&feature=related

Do you agree we need to fulfil our own feelings of lack rather than relying on someone else to provide it for us?... Click on the common link below and share your thoughts... it would be great to hear from you!

Warmly
Jeanne

 

Discovering Or Creating Yourself

The deepest secret is that life is not a process of discovery, but a process of creation.   You are not discovering yourself, but creating yourself anew.   Seek, therefore not to find out who you are, seek to determine who you want to be.

             Neale Donald Walshe...Conversations With God

This is an interesting thought... do we discover ourselves?  Or are we trying to create ourselves... create a life we desire?...

I think both discovering myself and creating myself happen, perhaps not at the same time... discovering who I am certainly affects the kind of me I'm trying to create.

Let me know what you think about this quote... click on the comment link below and share your thoughts... I'd love to hear from you.

Warmly

Jeanne

PS... if you could do with support and guidance in achieving a goal or changing your life in some way... I invite you to join my 4 Week E-Mail Mentoring Program... find out more and sign up at http://www.aspirationsplus.com/4wkementprom.html

Mother's Day: thinking and reflecting

Mother's Day is one of those very special days... ideally, it is a day dedicated to "pampering" mum.

Mums tend to be incredibly multiskilled... they run a household, often work, have meals prepared on time each mealtime, be a nurse to patch up grazed knees, be a listener, social director, have supportive arms that willingly find their way around you on a regular basis... their heart's always open and loving.

And they have eyes and ears in the back of their head and everywhere else!  They have an uncanny sense of knowing what you are up to... especially when you're up to no good! 

Mums often hold the family together through good times and those not so good. 

Mums are special... let's face it... not one of us would be here without some kind of input from our mum -- remember, she carried you for however many months in her womb!

Whether your mum is still very much in your life... or whether she is like mine, no longer here, it's important to give time to thinking about mum... what she represents and how your life has been shaped by mum.

If you are a mum... I hope you have a wonderful day!

Warmly

Jeanne

PS... if you could do with support and guidance in achieving a goal or changing your life in some way... I invite you to join my 4 Week E-Mail Mentoring Program... find out more and sign up at http://www.aspirationsplus.com/4wkementprom.html

Anzac Day: Time to Reflect

Thousands of people have attended powerfully solemn dawn services throughout the world to commemorate the 93rd anniversary of the landing of Gallipoli... and to honour those who have fought for their country since that time.

Anzac Day is a day of reflection... not to celebrate War but to reflect on the sacrifices made by hundreds of thousands of people to protect their country.

Fortunately, I have not known anyone in the services... or anyone who was called to fight for their country.  But each year I am deeply moved by the essential meaning of Anzac Day.

I have, however, several friends who have lived much of their lives in countries where war is happening.  I hear their stories and I see the impact living in a war torn country has on their physical and psychogical well-being.

For me Anzac Day is a day of reflection:

• contemplating the millions of lives lost in all countries throughout the world in the name of protecting their country
• the impact war has not only on the people called to service... but to those loved ones left behind
• the impact of living in a country devastated and torn apart by war
• the courage of those affected by war
• on how free my life truly is... and how much sacrifice has been given for the freedom I enjoy today

Anzac Day never ceases to have a "stock take" effect on me.  Today, as with many other Anzac Days, I will be re-evaluating what I'm doing... where I'm going... and how I also can contribute to making this world a safer and place.

What will you be doing today?  Click on the comment link below and leave your thoughts -- it's always good to hear from you!

Best wishes

Jeanne

PS... if you could do with support and guidance in achieving a goal or changing your life in some way... I invite you to join my 4 Week E-Mail Mentoring Program... find out more and sign up at http://www.aspirationsplus.com/4wkementprom.html

Fear of Rejection: What It Is and Effects Of It!

Fear of rejection is something most of us have experienced at some point in our life.

But for some, fear of rejection can be a serious problem.  When fear of rejection becomes a problem in someone's life, it affects their thoughts, feelings and actions. 

This post is about fear of rejection that has become a major problem in someone's life.

Fear of rejection affects how a person feels about him or herself, the way they view their life, the way they treat others, and the way they react to situations and events.

Fear of rejection can develop from:

• negative childhood experiences e.g. being abandoned as a young child
• never fitting in to groups especially at school
• always being last to be chosen for team games or sports
• being very shy
• having been adopted or placed in foster care early in life

People with a fear of rejection tend to:

• lack confidence and have a low self esteem
• think they are not good enough
• believe everyone judges them
• blow things out of proportion... a simple misunderstanding can become a major drama
• read too much into a situation... making it difficult for people around them to act naturally
• be reluctant in approaching people, or asking for assistance and help
• be "clingy" with the people in their lives.  This can become overpowering and result in major relationship problems
• reject others who want to become a friend -- they are usually convinced they will inevitably be rejected by others, so they do it to others before others get a chance to do it to them
• be reluctant taking up new opportunities

Much can be done to eliminate a fear of rejection and reduce its impact... which is good news not only  for the person who has a fear of rejection but also for the people around him or her!

We will look at what you can do to eliminate a fear of rejection at a later time.

In the meantime, if you know your confidence could do with a boost... take a look at this Unstoppable Confidence.  It's full of useful ideas and techniques to develop and strengthen your confidence...

Strengthening your confidence is a positive step in eliminating fear of rejection!

Do you know anyone with a fear of rejection?  How has it impacted on your life?  Click on the comment link below and share your thoughts and experiences with fear of rejection... I'd love to hear from you

Best wishes
Jeanne

PS have you signed up for my free 5 step e- course "Uncovering Your Dreams"... you can do so at:
http://www.aspirationsplus.com/udpromotion1.html

and have you received your complimentary copy "#1 Ingredient To Fast Track Your Success!"  You can do so when you subscribe to Aspirations Plus at
http://www.aspirationsplus.com/information-support-subscription.html

What are you thinking??

If you keep saying things are going to be bad, you have a good chance of becoming a prophet.

                                       Isaac Bashevis Singer

What are you telling yourself about how today is going to work out?  Stop for a few minutes and become aware of the thoughts playing in your head...

• are they positive thoughts?  Are they thoughts about feeling good, about feeling happy, and about things going really well?  Or......
• are they negative thoughts?  Are they thoughts about how difficult things are, about feeling unhappy, about feeling stressed, about feeling how difficult it all is... and how nothing ever goes right??

According to the law of attraction... what you predominantly think about... what you focus your attention on... you will attract more of it into your life!

What do you want to attract into your life??  Do you want to attract happiness, good will, fun, abundance of happiness and wealth and opportunities??

Or would you prefer to attract difficulties, crises, hard times, negativity??

Do you think it would be a good idea to become more aware of thoughts running through your head??  I think so!

Click on the comment link below and let me know what you think about this?  I'd love to hear from you!

Best wishes
Jeanne

PS have you signed up for my free 5 step e- course "Uncovering Your Dreams"... you can do so at:
http://www.aspirationsplus.com/udpromotion1.html

and have you received your complimentary copy "#1 Ingredient To Fast Track Your Success!"  You can do so when you subscribe to Aspirations Plus at
http://www.aspirationsplus.com/information-support-subscription.html

Journal Writing: 10 tips on getting started!

Journal writing is a powerful and useful technique... in the last post I discussed the benefits of journal writing.  Today I'm going to give you tips on how to get started!

Many of us have major blocks when it comes to the thought of writing ... "I'm not a writer!"... "what would I write??"... "I don't know where to start!!"... "what do I say??"

Does this sound familiar?  These were a few thoughts running through my head when I first heard about the benefits of journal writing and contemplated giving it a go.

Once I started my journal, it became addictive... in the very best sense!

How to get started:

• get yourself a large notebook, writing pad, diary, personal journal, or set yourself up with a folder on your computer, that is specifically where you will do your writing
• you can handwrite or use a computer.  Handwriting is more flexible because you can do your journal writing wherever you want e.g. in the park, in the car or wherever you get the urge -- sometimes you are not anywhere where you can access your computer
• find a place where you can keep your journal where no one else can see it or find it -- your journal is very private!
• your journal writing is for your eyes only!  You are not writing an academic article or an assignment or something that is going to be read by any other person but you!
• when you first start, your writing may feel stilted or awkward... just keep going and soon you'll find thoughts will begin to flow and you'll begin writing almost automatically.  Sometimes I don't think I will write any more than a couple of lines... but once I get going, it begins to flow and sometimes I end up with a couple of pages
• it doesn't matter if you write only a couple of words or a saga!  Length isn't important
• in the beginning, I found I was trying to make my writing look good and read properly -- because your journal writing is only for you, don't worry about grammar, punctuation, neatness, making sense, or sentence structure.  The key is to just write, write and write!
• it's beneficial to date every entry e.g. Wednesday 19/3/08.  This is useful when you want to reread your journal; you can see how you were going at a certain time in your life compared to where you are now.
• in the beginning, it can be useful to set aside a certain period of the day where you do your writing; this isn't always possible because of commitments, schedules and responsibilities... but try to do some journal writing each day
• journal writing is a very personal experience... therefore there is no right or wrong way for doing it... you will find your own way and it will be perfect!

What do you think about journal writing?  What tips would you suggest?  Click on the comment link below and let me know your thoughts and suggestions... I'd love to hear from you!

Best wishes
Jeanne

PS have you signed up for my free 5 step e- course "Uncovering Your Dreams"... you can do so at:
http://www.aspirationsplus.com/udpromotion1.html

and have you received your complimentary copy "#1 Ingredient To Fast Track Your Success!"  You can do so when you subscribe to Aspirations Plus at
http://www.aspirationsplus.com/information-support-subscription.html

Journal Writing: 8 powerful benefits

Journal writing is a well-known and effective technique I use myself and frequently recommend to others including family, friends and clients. 

Several books have been written about the ins-and-outs of journal writing and the really good thing is that you don't need any formal training, any special equipment, or any skill to do it... it's something everyone can do and benefit from. 

Because journal writing is so useful... I'm going to discuss different aspects of it in 2 posts.  Today we will look at

benefits of journal writing :

• it's a great way to get your thoughts and feelings out of your system.  We all know how good it can feel to talk things over with someone but sometimes it can be difficult or inconvenient to  access someone e.g. it could be 2 a.m. when you need to talk and inappropriate to contact someone at that hour.  Your journal is always handy
• can help keep you on track, clarify your goals and stimulate ideas for change in your life
• you may not have someone with whom you can talk over your problems or feelings
• you may have something on your mind you don't feel comfortable talking with someone about... you can say what you want in your journal without feeling embarrassed; your journal will never judge or criticise you
• your journal is easily accessible at any time on any day
• if you have trouble sleeping, keep paper and pen by your bedside.  When you have thoughts racing through your head preventing you from sleeping -- write them down.  Once again, it gets it out of your system and stops the continual thinking
• can help you clarify what you're thinking and feeling.  It can help you let go of things that kept going around in your heart and head
• your journal can become your very good friend!

Have you ever kept a journal?  Do you keep a journal now?  Do you find writing in your journal useful?  I'd love to know your experience with journal writing... click on the comment link below and let me know your thoughts.  It's always good to hear from you!

Best wishes
Jeanne

PS have you signed up for my free 5 step e- course "Uncovering Your Dreams"... you can do so at:
http://www.aspirationsplus.com/udpromotion1.html

and have you received your complimentary copy "#1 Ingredient To Fast Track Your Success!"  You can do so when you subscribe to Aspirations Plus at
http://www.aspirationsplus.com/information-support-subscription.html

Oprah Winfrey interviews Eckhart Tolle

During the week I saw an advertisement about Oprah Winfrey interviewing Eckhart Tolle on his book "A New Earth: Awakening To Your Life's Purpose".

Having listened to Eckhart Tolle's "Power of Now", some of which I found incredibly heavy going, I knew this interview was a must!

I followed the link to the Oprah Winfrey site and found that Oprah and Eckhart were doing a 10 week course focusing on different aspects of his book. 

Eckhart Tolle, a spiritual teacher, is quietly spoken, a deep thinker, with profound ideas.  While I find his work incredibly heavy going... his wisdom is compelling.

Here are a few gems I absorbed from the interview:

Clutter in your Workspace : 8 Suggestions to get on top of clutter

Most people have a work space... a place or area where they carry out specific activities such as work or hobby. 

A work space could be an office at home, an office away from home, a desk in a room in the house, the garage, an area in the kitchen, a sewing room, an area where your business/hobbies are carried out... it could be anywhere.

It's very easy for clutter to build up in your work space, especially if you are very busy and have lots of demands to deal with each day.

Here are 8 suggestions to get on top of clutter rather than be swamped by clutter:

1. take a few moments and look around your work area and get a real feel for what needs to be done
2. begin by throwing rubbish away -- put things in the bin that need to be in the bin.  A few minutes doing this often can make a huge difference
3. put things away in their right place -- if you have papers that need to be filed, spend a few minutes doing it; if you have books lying around, put them where they belong; if you have coffee cups and other items that belong elsewhere, put them where they belong.  In other words, do a quick tidy up
4. after you have tidied up... clean the area.  Chances are your work space hasn't been cleaned for a while especially if lots of clutter has accumulated
5. take a few moments to write down what your needs are in terms of getting on top of clutter -- think about what is really bugging you, what would make such a difference if it no longer existed.  You could, for example, desperately need more adequate storage space (or even some storage space); it could be that you need to reorganise the area that you work in; or perhaps your computer is so cluttered with e-mails, too many icons on your desktop, no system for organising documents or files (computer clutter is so common -- and that is something I experience more often than I want to)
6. look at your list and prioritise everything you have written -- what is your first priority, and then your second and so on
7. begin to sort out your first priority -- if it is storage space that is required, start looking around for shelving, cupboards, draws, files or whatever else is required.  This may take awhile to completely achieve but it is important to begin to take action on your first priority.  If your computer is a mess with clutter -- start with your email and begin to get it organised.
8. remember you don't have to do everything at once.  Most of us don't have that time to devote hours and hours solely on eliminating clutter.  If you do, that is great and I encourage you to go for it!  But if you are pressed for time... just make a start.

And once you start to eliminate clutter, it's amazing how the momentum continues... sure, one thing leads to another and at times it feels like you will never get to the end of it.  Believe me, you will get to the end of it.  And this in itself will provide you with an incentive to keep organised, tidy, and on top of things as much as you can.

The sooner you begin to take action on your clutter, the sooner it will disappear and you will feel more energetic, motivated, productive... and a whole lot better!

Do you experience work space clutter?  Click on the comment link below and share your thoughts about, and suggestions for, getting rid of work space clutter.

Best wishes
Jeanne

PS... have you received your complimentary copy of "#1 Ingredient to Fast Track Your Success!"
you can download a copy when you subscribe to Aspirations Plus at:
http://www.aspirationsplus.com/information-support-subscription.html